P&P means Pride & Prejudice, a romantic novel authored by Jane Austen. Thanks to The Mother. I had the pleasure of being part of an interactive two-day discussion organized by the Mambalam meditation centre and MSS based on this book recently. Mr.Gary Jacobs, Vice President, Mother's Service Society chaired the discussion. I will try to share with you here the notes i have taken there.
- First, Why does 200 devotees gather to discuss the story of a 400 page book written by a mere 19yr old London lady way way back in 1790? After all, it's just a romantic story of 3 women from a simple family getting married. Not even once you can find the word 'God' in the book. Also not even one character prays to God throughout the book.
- Second, Why did a person write 16,000 pages of commentary about the 400 page book for 9 years?
- Why did he decide to write 10,000 more lines of commentary within the next 1000 days?
- 16,000 is the TOTAL number of pages of ALL the other books he authored. He is none other than Sri Karmayogi. Appa realized that there is something special in this book that everyone of us need to know. So, what makes it special?
Situations from the P&P book are given as apt examples for The Mother's principles. As many of us have not read the story or seen the movie version, i will try to brief it in 20-30 lines here.
The Story: Pride & Prejudice
Author: Jane Austen
This story is about a big, simple, happy, lower-middle class family living in a small town called Longbourn near London. Mr.Bennet is the head of the family. He has Five daughters - Jane, Elizabeth (Lizzy), Lydia, Mary and Kitty. Mr.Bennet gives complete freedom to all his daughters. Never objects anything. Intelligent. calm. cultured. Lazy and Witty. His wife is the exact opposite. She is from a poor, lower class family. Uncultured. Speaks badly. Has the energy to do anything. Always thinks about getting the daughters married. Jane is the eldest girl. She is Beautiful and kind. Elizabeth is the second. She is smart, intelligent and brave.
As there is no male heir, the property will soon go to their stupid cousin, William Collins. Collins is closer to a rich person named Lady Catherine who presented him a big, costly house near a place called Rosings. Charles Bingley, a rich, highly cultured, young bachelor, bought a palace called Netherfield, near Longbourn. He has two sisters and a rich friend (Our Hero) named Darcy, nephew of Lady Catherine.
(That's all for introduction. The character names might be confusing but once you read the book or watch the movie, it will be easy to remember)
Bingley and Jane, the eldest daughter of Mr.Bennet, fall in love. Darcy, though attracted to the next sister, Elizabeth, offends her with his arrogant behaviour. Darcy and Bingley's sisters hate Jane's family because her mom and the other two daughters - Lydia & Mary are uncultured. They also separate Bingley from Jane and take him back to London.
Meanwhile Mr.Collins expressed interest to marry Elizabeth but she knows that he is a stupid, silly guy. She rejects his offer. Collins then marries a poor girl Charlotte Lucas, a friend of Elizabeth who accepts him because he owns a good house. Elizabeth then becomes a friend of good-looking Wickham, half-brother of Darcy. Wickham tells Elizabeth that Darcy is an arrogant person with a very bad attitude. Elizabeth again meets Darcy after few days. Darcy gets attracted to her and proposes finally. Even though he is a rich man with lot of money, Elizabeth rejects him because it is he who separated her Sister - Jane from her boy friend Bingley.
Darcy did not react or show any emotion for her rejection. He simply remained calm. Went back. Wrote her a letter which became the turning point of the story.
Darcy clearly mentioned that Wickham is his half-brother who wasted all the money given to him by their father and also made an unsuccessful attempt to elope with Darcy's 15yr old younger sister. He also wrote that Bingley-Jane relationship broke up because of the bad behaviour of her mom & sisters.
Elizabeth cried. It was her very own Mom and sisters who damaged the relationship between Jane and Bingley. She thought Wickham is a good person and trusted his words. She realized how great Darcy is. She was very angry with him but still Darcy remained calm. By the time she completed reading the letter, she came to know that her sister, 15 yr old Lydia eloped with Wickham. This is a very bad news that will bring shame to her entire family. The marriage of the other sisters will be in question. Elizabeth had no idea now on what to do.
Darcy came to the rescue. He searched and located the couple, got them married and also paid the demanded dowry. He did not stop after that. He got Bingley married to Jane. Elizabeth could not have asked for more. Both her sisters are now married only because of the help of Darcy. She felt sorry for being rude to him, apologized to him. She wanted to marry him but Darcy was asked to marry Lady Catherine's daughter. Darcy still loved Elizabeth. Lady Catherine even came to Elizabeth home and ordered her to stay away. She is like a Queen and in general, Queen does not come to comman man's house. Irrespective of her highness, the bold Elizabeth simply ignored her order. It takes a lot of courage to deny a Queen's order. Finally Elizabeth married Darcy. The story ends with THREE DAUGHTERS GETTING MARRIED.
On Opportunity:
Meanwhile Mr.Collins expressed interest to marry Elizabeth but she knows that he is a stupid, silly guy. She rejects his offer. Collins then marries a poor girl Charlotte Lucas, a friend of Elizabeth who accepts him because he owns a good house. Elizabeth then becomes a friend of good-looking Wickham, half-brother of Darcy. Wickham tells Elizabeth that Darcy is an arrogant person with a very bad attitude. Elizabeth again meets Darcy after few days. Darcy gets attracted to her and proposes finally. Even though he is a rich man with lot of money, Elizabeth rejects him because it is he who separated her Sister - Jane from her boy friend Bingley.
Darcy did not react or show any emotion for her rejection. He simply remained calm. Went back. Wrote her a letter which became the turning point of the story.
Darcy clearly mentioned that Wickham is his half-brother who wasted all the money given to him by their father and also made an unsuccessful attempt to elope with Darcy's 15yr old younger sister. He also wrote that Bingley-Jane relationship broke up because of the bad behaviour of her mom & sisters.
Elizabeth cried. It was her very own Mom and sisters who damaged the relationship between Jane and Bingley. She thought Wickham is a good person and trusted his words. She realized how great Darcy is. She was very angry with him but still Darcy remained calm. By the time she completed reading the letter, she came to know that her sister, 15 yr old Lydia eloped with Wickham. This is a very bad news that will bring shame to her entire family. The marriage of the other sisters will be in question. Elizabeth had no idea now on what to do.
Darcy came to the rescue. He searched and located the couple, got them married and also paid the demanded dowry. He did not stop after that. He got Bingley married to Jane. Elizabeth could not have asked for more. Both her sisters are now married only because of the help of Darcy. She felt sorry for being rude to him, apologized to him. She wanted to marry him but Darcy was asked to marry Lady Catherine's daughter. Darcy still loved Elizabeth. Lady Catherine even came to Elizabeth home and ordered her to stay away. She is like a Queen and in general, Queen does not come to comman man's house. Irrespective of her highness, the bold Elizabeth simply ignored her order. It takes a lot of courage to deny a Queen's order. Finally Elizabeth married Darcy. The story ends with THREE DAUGHTERS GETTING MARRIED.
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Following are the excerpts from the happened discussion, told quotations and answered questions. On Opportunity:
- Don't ask Mother anything. Everything is already given to you. She sanctioned everything for us. You just have to qualify yourselves to RECEIVE it. - Gary
- Never feel sorry for your defects. Then you are proud about your strengths. - Appa.
- Opportunities are behind everything. It's just that we don't see it. You don't have to create one.
In the story, both Darcy and Elizabeth had an opportunity to marry a person they desired. For Elizabeth, it's the richest man in the village and for Darcy, an intelligent woman. They did not sense this opportunity. Only when they became conscious of what is happening, things changed.
A story from Gary:
Apple Inc., A $50 Billion electronics company, the manufacturer of the famous iPod & iPhone, was started on April 1, 1976 by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne. Steve Jobs is a college drop out and Wayne is a 10 year friend of Steve. Wayne was given 10% stake with the company (this is the opportunity) but two weeks later, Wayne gave it back to Steve Jobs and Wozniak fearing that the business might fail one day and he will be in debts. $15 Billion is the worth of that 10% stake today ! Opportunity lost.
கேள்வி: "குப்புற விழுவதும் வாய்ப்பு தான்" என்று அப்பா எழுதுகிறாரே ? விழுந்தால் வலி தானே வரும். வாய்ப்பு எங்கே ?
பதில்: ஒரு தாயார் தெருவில் நடந்து செல்கிறார். பெண்ணின் திருமணத்தை பற்றி கவலைபட்டுகொண்டு சென்றதால் வழியை கவனிக்காமல் தடுக்கி குப்புற விழுந்தார். அருகில் குடி இருப்பவர் ஒருவர் தூக்கி விட்டு, தன் வீட்டிற்கு அழைத்துச்சென்று தண்ணிர் கொடுத்தபோது அங்கே திருமண வயதில் தன் மகளுக்கு ஒரு பையன் இருப்பதை கண்டார். திருமணமும் நடைபெற்றது !
- The surest way to cancel an opportunity is to start questioning it. -Appa
- Every problem we face is an Opportunity that we did not make use of. -Appa.
- Only when we are not conscious, problems come. We will later realize that we are not in our conscious. -Appa.
- An opportunity, once lost is completely Lost. -Appa.
- In the Story, Lydia eloped and created a problem. Darcy used it as an opportunity and got them married.
How Ego kills/cancels an Opportunity:
Gary was meeting some senior officials of the Government to propose an Idea. It was accepted, passed, pronounced perfect by the officials. "Ah..Success..", said Gary to himself. Suddenly, the senior official went away for some other urgent work and the Plan was NOT implemented. It went because of his Ego. Gary said he should have satisfied after the plan is implemented.
On Family:
Marriage is just a social accomplishment. Men and Women are not opposite. As in Sri Aurobindo's words, they are Compliments. They complete one another. THE MOST important point for Parents is to give freedom to children. Most of the first Day went in discussing Freedom alone.
கண்டித்து வளர்த்தல் தவறு.
Gary was meeting some senior officials of the Government to propose an Idea. It was accepted, passed, pronounced perfect by the officials. "Ah..Success..", said Gary to himself. Suddenly, the senior official went away for some other urgent work and the Plan was NOT implemented. It went because of his Ego. Gary said he should have satisfied after the plan is implemented.
On Family:
Marriage is just a social accomplishment. Men and Women are not opposite. As in Sri Aurobindo's words, they are Compliments. They complete one another. THE MOST important point for Parents is to give freedom to children. Most of the first Day went in discussing Freedom alone.
கண்டித்து வளர்த்தல் தவறு.
Every children inherits the parent's character. If there is something that your children exhibit that you haven't, 90% of the times, the chances are - The character does belong to you but you hide it within yourselves. If they commit mistakes, we cannot correct them. If your kid involve in any wrongdoing, it's because of your attitude. The secret for Women is Thorough Self-Giving. The secret for Man is Giving Freedom.
Attitude to Money:
Q: Why Lizzy (Elizabeth's nick name) attracted more money than Lydia?
A: Lizzy never said Yes when Darcy's proposal came. Lizzy has higher human values. She is not a Mercinary. She married the richest person.
Lydia follows everyone. She has no self-respect. Worse in character. Doesn't think about anything. So she ended up with a comparatively poor man.
Q: How to outgrow/overcome the sense of Pride?
The more conscious we are, the less we will fell pride/proud of.
The theme of the Two day discussion is to move from Infinity to Individuality.
The more we realize who we are, the more we realize what we are destined to be.
How to become Individuals:
You can read the free copy of the book online in the below links:
Volume I (Chapters 1-23)
Volume II (Chapters 24-42)
Volume III (Chapters 43-61)
To buy the hard copy, it's available in Online Shopping too.
The price of the book ranges from Rs.35 to 1400 based on quality.
There are more related content in our karmayogi.net website also.
Click here for a complete list of articles and commentary on P&P.
Click here for a List of P&P Chapter Commentaries & Audio Recordings
In the story, Lydia actually expressed the unexpressed of her Mom. She will one day tell that the security guards in red coat are handsome and she wants to meet them. Lydia actually did what her mom thought. Wickham, the man she eloped with, is a security guard !
- The only person we can correct is us.
- Gary - "Never discipline the kids. Discipline yourselves."
- The Mother's request to her school teachers.
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Aspiration and Expectation:
Aspiration is looking inside you. You don't go out for it. Expectation is depending upon outside things.
Reverting problems:
Accept your fault, if it actually is. As soon as you accept it, the situation will change upside-down.
- Mrs.Bennet puts the fault in Wickham with whom her daughter Lydia eloped. She did not accept that she is also responsible for the incident.
- Lizzy realized that it is her fault after reading Darcy's letter.
- Mr.Bennet realized that it is his fault. He did not curse his wife or Lydia or wickham. He felt bad for not saving enough money for the girls to get married.
தவறு என்னுடையது என்று உணர்ந்து முழு பொறுப்பை ஏற்றுக்கொள்வது முக்கியம். நடப்பது அன்னையால், கெட்டுப்போவது நம்மால்.
Non-Initiative:
Non-Initiative:
It is better not to take any initiative sometimes as it will create problems.
Bingley never took any initiative to marry Jane. His sister denied his wish. She took him back to London. But SIX months later, Darcy takes him voluntarily to Jane and they get married.
Non-Reaction:
Don't react when something terrible happens to you.
When Lizzy shouted at Darcy when he proposed her, he did not shout back saying that Wickham is a liar. He remained calm, went back silently. Even though it is a no-hope situation.
Patience & Cheerfulness:
Always be patient and cheerful. Never worry for any situation.
- Jane did not worry that she is 23 and she should get married soon. Even after Bingley went back to London, she remained cheerful.
- Elizabeth too remained cheerful. She never waited for Jane to get married so that she can get married after that.
Money:
Money is not just a Thing. It is analogous to a Language. Can i say, "The more languages i learn, richer i become" ? You are stranded on an island or a desert with crore rupees in a suitcase. If all you wanted is a cup of water, what value does the money have here? The Value is not in the thing. The Value is How we see to it. Money is related to Human Relations. Like language. Appa says, "If you want Money, you shouldn't be a mercenary. Mercenaries are those who judge/trust people based on how rich they are. Like Collins in the story, who accepts Lady Catherine for her richness. Even Bingley stays with Darcy because he is another rich man. Our objective is, "How to unleash Mother's grace and achieve prosperity." We cannot do it until we follow money. Wichham in the story, keeps following money.
Attitude to Money:
- It is our attitude toward money that determines everything.
This is what Mrs.Bennet said to her husband:
A rich bachelor, Bingley comes to our village Netherfield. Lets grab him for one of our daughters before he marries someone else. (Her focus is Money here)
This is what Mr.Bennet says to Elizabeth:
Do not marry Darcy because he is rich and he proposed you. Give preference to the one who really loves you. (He did care that Darcy earns more than 5 times as him. He just denied as his daughter hated him.
Mr.Bennet never made money a priority/problem. He did not yell at his wife for spending all the money he earned. He is soft-spoken. Never raises his voice. Gives Freedom to everyone.
- Faithfully discharge problems.
- Cleanliness raises physical atmosphere. Earns Money.
Experience from Janani: "My maid stopped coming. So i started cleaning my home on my own. My husband got promoted." - Keeping perfect/accurate account of money. (கணக்கு எழுதுதல்). Don't leave small numbers. Be perfect. Document the expense granularly upto Paise-level.
- All the money we earn is Mother's. If i believe it's mine, it's Ego. All that we earn is Mother's.
- When we are higher than money, it comes to us. Higher our energy level, more we attract money.
- Soft speeches are very possible to attract money. Never raise your voice. Never shout.
- Value Mother not for her Money-giving.
- Try if you can completely forget money and give/consecrate everything related to money to Mother.
- Once you do that, you become an Individual.
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Gary explained his own life experience, an incident that happened 30 years ago. His brother was very rich. Some loss in the business and they become poor very soon. Appa gave them 3 ideas.- Always Stay calm.
- Keep the home spotlessly clean.
- Offer 10$ to Mother.
Q: Why Lizzy (Elizabeth's nick name) attracted more money than Lydia?
A: Lizzy never said Yes when Darcy's proposal came. Lizzy has higher human values. She is not a Mercinary. She married the richest person.
Lydia follows everyone. She has no self-respect. Worse in character. Doesn't think about anything. So she ended up with a comparatively poor man.
Q: How to outgrow/overcome the sense of Pride?
The more conscious we are, the less we will fell pride/proud of.
We are all aware of and proud of our personal possessions. If we really look at what we receive, nothing is ours.
-Appa
The theme of the Two day discussion is to move from Infinity to Individuality.
The more we realize who we are, the more we realize what we are destined to be.
In general, our aspiration is "acceptable by everyone". So if everyone goes to B.E Computer science, you also want to go. Because you want to be accepted by everyone around you."Our destiny is to evolve as an individual soul."-Sri Aurobindo.
- One should be Self-aware.
- We should shift our frame of reference from social values to our inside spiritual values.
How to become Individuals:
- One becomes individual by coming out, not doing only for self, but everyone around. Like Darcy came out, helped Lydia's wedding, uniting Jane and Bingley, helped everyone.
- Stop seeking what the society is seeking. Stop valuing what the society is valuing.
- Remember, Uniqueness is not a criteria for becoming individuals.
- An Individual is a delegate of the Infinite.
- Individual is the centre from which the Infinite reacts.
- The Mother is the Infinite.
- We will be filled with full of energy.
- Whatever we do, problem will resolve.
- You will be filled with creativity.
You can read the free copy of the book online in the below links:
Volume I (Chapters 1-23)
Volume II (Chapters 24-42)
Volume III (Chapters 43-61)
To buy the hard copy, it's available in Online Shopping too.
The price of the book ranges from Rs.35 to 1400 based on quality.
There are more related content in our karmayogi.net website also.
Click here for a complete list of articles and commentary on P&P.
Click here for a List of P&P Chapter Commentaries & Audio Recordings
Thanks Vicky for compiling this so clearly and providing references.
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